Just for Fun Recipes Recipes & Memories

A Bum Sandwich

I first came across this technique for making sandwiches while reading a book called “The Gastronaut” by Stefan Gates. I was so intrigued by the whole concept that I decided to try it myself

Sitting on a sandwich for an hour, basically using your posterior as a low-temperature oven is what makes a bum sandwich. Bum cooking is an excellent way to obtain a great snack while sitting, either watching TV or typing away at the computer.

The simple recipe is:

Bread (crusty French bread or sourdough, croissant, English muffins, but anything will do).

Butter

Fillings – choose two from ham, good cheese, chicken, roast beef, avocado, etc.

Mustard (or pesto, salsa verde or whatever you like)

Mayonnaise

Fresh herbs if you have them – parsley, thyme, cilantro and rosemary are all good, as long as they go with your filling ingredients)

Watercress or arugula (optional)

Cut the bread thickly and butter it generously. Make the sandwich with lavish amounts of filling and, most importantly, spread on the pesto, mayonnaise, herbs and watercress or arugula. Wrap the sandwich securely in a substantial quantity of plastic wrap – this will protect your clothes from greasy ingredients, and the sandwich from any unanticipated farts (unexpected fumes emanations). You can also take the extra precaution of putting the wrapped sandwich in a brown paper bag before sitting on it.

Sit on the sandwich for as long as possible – an hour is best. Avoid getting up as this will interrupt the cooking process. You can also sit on the sandwich for as little as 10 minutes, but an hour is ideal.

The favorite at home is croissant with ham, cheese, pesto and mayonnaise. It is a hit every time and the results are always glorious.

Illustrated below is another version.

Illustration by Joli Braim
Illustration by Joli Braim

3 comments

  1. Ha! I’ve seen (and made) plenty of pressed sandwiches but I’ve never heard of a bum sandwich. Between the “unanticipated farts” and the illustration, this post made me laugh. And, honestly, it made me very curious to try this myself!

    Like

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